Raz CI4 Update

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6:20:13 ch8 p218 (second time listen)
start 2024-05-12
rec Trische

Humble, respect
26:00 getting people to like you, how you make them feel about themselves
37:00 Joe Navarro - three minutes to doomsday
57:00 5 Rules to create trust and leadership
1. Suspend your ego - humble - all about them
2. Be nonjudgmental - people who look down on them
3. Validate others
4. Honour reason  - honest
5. Be generous
Four steps
1. Align you goals
- learn the goals of others 
- align your goals with their
2. Apply the power of context
  - learn about others
  - people trust those who know them
3. craft your encounters 
4. Connect. Speak the language that everyone wants to hear - about them

1:08:00 ultimate goal (not power and wealth)
- unshakeable optimism
- complete self-confidence
- sublime peace of mind, a deep sense of security
- abundant self-esteem
- True love
1:12:40 Secret of being liked is not how you make people feel about you but how you make them feel about themselves
1:12:43 to inspire trust to put others first
1:45:30 even judging people favourably can make them uncomfortable because they know you might reverse course
2:43:14 ch 4 if you let people do most of the talking the pleasure centres of their brains will light up and they will tend to trust you
2:49:40 to optimize the functions of your neurotransmitters and hormones, the best strategy is .. healthy diet .. sleep .. exercising regularly with plenty of aerobics to activate your body's own antidepressants and energizers, minimize your exposure to toxins, trying to relax every day, spending time with people you love
5:01:00 Craft your encounters - always use all 5 steps in opening line
5:04:22 prepare your opening remark - 7 point system
5:06:20 some people are hesitant to ask for help cause they think that they owe the other person a favour or they'll be seen as needy or annoying. 
Oddly though if you ask someone for something that's reasonably easy to provide Such as information or moment of their time it automatically prompt them to warm up to you. Known as the Ben Franklin effect Who ended a few by asking an enemy for a favour
5:13:30 knowing the correct answer to the question will you do me a favor? Wrong: what do you need? correct: of course (then adjust)
6:08:00 ch 8 the one who asked the most questions is the one that people want to talk to again. It's the one they trust.
~6:18:00 ch 8 questions to get to truth. Socratic
6:16:00 platinum rule - treat others the way they want to be treated

7:22:00 ch 9 p257 phishing letter went from 35% success to 100 by using code of trust
258 COT1) make messages all about them. Be humble. 
3) Validate people. Empower them with choice 
4) be rational, and tell people exactly who you are and what you want 
5) be generous: offer them something even if it's just a compliment or the gift of brevity.

7:37:20 ch 10 people who see power for power's sake or to assuage their own fears of an adequacy really achieve it because their soul focus is on themselves. Never really trusted. Even when they think they have power .. they only have the grandiose pipe dream of control
7:39:40 fear-driven power, falters, or fails and those who wield it fall.. this is not a dream or even idealism, but a constant law of human history. Fear, and love remain the only two primal emotions of life.
7:43:50 creating a virtuous cycle in which abundance seems to be everywhere. Tough shrewd people even doubt that such a world exists. Because they think the so-called real world is an unforgiving fickle realm. 
7:49:50 if you react to people with the same negative qualities that they display you're just playing their game. Toxic people feed off the fear and negative emotions that they evoke and they're generally better at the game of attack retaliate than emotionally healthy people. 
The only way out of the game is to to rise above it. 
7:59:05 six most toxic people
8:02:33 hot amygdala - don't respond to one of their uppers by one of your own. That's what they want you to do because it seems to just justify their behaviour (Alex) they need reassurance, a gentle reality check delivered with logic and empathy
8:04:44 passive aggressive - because they specialize in sneak attacks and subtle destruction document most of the efforts you make on their behalf and keep other people in the loop on what you're doing (Sally at work)
8:06:16 egomaniacs - far too often they're the boss. Large corporations tend to reward narcissistic, ego, freaks partly because they excel at grabbing rewards. (Trische) Look good on paper
8:12:00 bullies - almost welcome judgment because they are accustomed to contempt and almost develop a perverse taste for it. 
9:08:43 ch 12 drill #7 don't agree to disagree (fill this out)
9:17:10 ch 12 drill #12 tap the power of apology. Great leaders apologize for off the most people. It's not because they're wrong more often. It's because they're humble enough to apologize without feeling personally demeaned.
9:20:45 the moment you encounter a toxic person. Rise above the troubling behaviour of that person instead of responding and kind. Don't fight fire with fire conflict is often what they want because it's a form of sport to them. 
9:25:30 Hub, and spoke diagram of your own tribe of trust

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